I love the quiet here on the range. I have gotten used to no neighbors, no sounds other than nature and weapons being fired, listening to the insects to tell the weather, no one coming to your door, the peace.. But, I am now struggling with what I don't have in terms of living conditions.
The ranger and I were watching House Hunters International last night (we love that show). He turned to me and said "when we retire why don't we just find an island and run a hamburger tiki hut on the island." I laughed and said it sounded good but we would be living a "minimal life" meaning no extra luxuries other than the nature around you. Then I told him yes, we could do it because that is the life we are living right now. I have turned into a minimalist and not by choice but by necessity. There is no room for "junk" where I live. The dwelling just won't hold it so we continue to pare back as far as we can. I pare back as far as I am emotionally able to let go of things.
It got me thinking about what really is necessary and yes, you can do it but it is just down right hard. I am thankful for a roof over my head but it sure isn't the roof that I thought would be over my head.
A 30 + year double wide mobile home that is falling apart is not the ultimate. BUT, the rain doesn't come in (yet) and the heat works. Over the last few months we rarely used the furnace but instead burned all the wood we could find... Hello old deck off my home, you heated the range home for almost the whole winter. I should say that I have huge fears with fire in a mobile home and would take two Tylenol PM at night when we were leaving the smoldering left overs of a fire in the wood burning stove. I convinced myself that if the house did go up in flames, I would not feel it because I would be dead to the world anyway with the Tylenol PM. But despite the fear I remain warm.
Bathrooms that are 30 year old mobile home bathrooms are not any where near luxurious I have to keep reminding myself that the toilet flushes and the shower works ( I still mourn and crave a nice soaking bath tub). When I sit on the side of the bed trying to blow dry my hair I covet... yes,.... I covet a bathroom that has adequate counter space. Sometimes, I don't blow dry my hair because it is hard to do it sitting on the side of the bed. So if I look bad, blame it on the bathroom.
Ceilings that are 7 feet high are not the ultimate when you are shaking out the bedsheet and you get your arms caught in the ceiling fan because you forget how low it is. The good thing is that at least we are not tall people and the ceiling fan is easy to clean because it is so low.
Kitchen cupboards that are… well I won’t go into that.
Dirt,.... Dirt..... and more dirt.......which turns into mud when it rains. Good-by any kind of nice shoe. Hello wellies or crocs that can be thrown in the washer. These were made just for me and my life.
I haven't had a visiting teacher in almost two years because the women are scared to come down the driveway......... I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
When people come to shoot in the back, and the ground is wet from the rain, and they don't stay on the path marked for the cars and leave ruts and grooves in the other part of the range....... I now get mad. I need to work on this. It may seem like just an open field to you but it is MY BACKYARD... treat it with respect. Or when you get stuck in the mud because you were such an idiot to take your nice little car into the area where we told you not to park...don't spin your tires until you dig us a hole to china. IT IS MY BACKYARD!!! The ranger is much nicer than I am. I sit in the house looking out the window watching and fuming. He just kindly gets his overalls and boots on and goes to get "big blue", the tractor, and hooks it up and pulls them to the front of the house. All with a smile on his face. He has more charity in his heart than I do.
Even though I want a new sofa I know it is much more important to spend the money on a used bush hog so the fields can be plowed BUT, I still want a new sofa. Sometimes I think it is sad that I even know what a bush hog is and does!! If we can find a used bush hog, I know this summer I will be learning to drive big blue with the bush hog attached to the back unless Christa, Shannon, Stephanie, Amanda, Brett, Devin or Tom have a great desire to do this. (West is still to small to learn to drive the tractor with the bush hog but he will have a blast riding on it)
There are times when I dream of living in the burbs again. We have even gone and looked at homes. Homes on a golf course no less. As I watch Ranger enjoy what his passion is, the great outdoors, I know that the burbs are not in the picture and at this point I am not sure I want to go back to the burbs.
So I know that I will stay on the range and even live in this dwelling for a while (a longer while more than a shorter while) because I fell in love and married ranger and the stars are not aligned right now for us to change the dwelling/home. But my heart does a pitter-patter when Ranger looks at me and tells me that he can hardly wait for West (the grandson) to come so that he can take him out in the woods to watch the beaver and to hike and fish in the stream. (I will leave out the part about teaching him to shoot.) Oh and for those who don't know West will be turning 3 yes, a big 3 in July !!!! but that doesn't seem to deter the ranger from thinking West will love all that he wants to show him now and teach him about life in the outdoors.
Life is hard on the range right now. Sometimes, I don’t think people understand how hard it is. But, the sun will come out tomorrow and I will go and throw away more stuff. Then I will clean the floors for the hundredth time to get rid of the mud and dirt. The ranger will come home tonight and build us a fire if it turns cold and we will watch house hunters international and dream of a hamburger tiki hut stand on an island knowing that we would be ok living there if we wanted to because we know how to do without.
Love to you all....please come visit… Just drop in.... if you can brave the driveway and the sound of guns and AK47s going off. I won’t even suggest that maybe you would like to plow the field…. or maybe you will want to wait until we get the goats.... yes, goats... we are thinking more and more about it.... that will be another days blog.